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Combustible Campus Guardress logo Episode 3:
Ache-Ache Pant-Pant
The Stressful Final Battle!
Sitting alone in her room, Hazumi sulks over her inability to protect Takumi and losing her sword. Her mother walks in and chastises her on working on her boobs and butt, but not on her brains. She explains that she hit Hazumi as a form of shock treatment. This makes Hazumi suddenly realize: it may have been shock that made her sword disappear. She makes another try to summon it, and only ends up with a mop. Despite this, her mother manages to cheer her up somewhat.

During the opening credits, Hazumi tells herself to behave more like an older sister and protect Takumi. Her brother opens his locker and finds a charm made by her. Then Hime walks up behind him and tells him she's worried. Kijima isn't like the other Remnants, she explains, because he's so serious. She adds that she is also serious, and that she has loved him for a long time. Right then, Hazumi walks up to the door and overhears her asking Takumi if he likes anyone. He apologizes, adding that there is someone he likes. Hime presses him to tell her who it is. "It can't be Hazumi, can it? She's your sister!" He tells her, "No. The girl I love..." Hazumi waits breathlessly outside. "Isn't my sister," he concludes, as Hazumi feels her world falling away.

A voice echoes: "You can feel it. Your flesh trembles." Under its urging, a man in the street is gripped by fearful sensations. Then, as the voice continues its ministrations, the man's body explodes and transforms, turning him into a horrible creature. The proximity of the Dark World begins affecting the weak-willed members of the populace.

Later, Kijima, Aoi, and Murasaki face an enormous horde of recently turned Remnants. They command the group to kill the Key to the Gate, and kill all humans.

Somewhere else in the city, Kazuma buys some tea for Chiryuu, who is holed up in a freezer. He gets out and complains that it's cold. When asked why he stays in there, he complains it's too hot outside. They discuss the situation, and Kazuma mentions that it must be tough for Takumi to be the Key. Chiryuu can only say that it is the boy's destiny.

At home, that very same boy is going through his belongings and cleaning his room. As Hazumi passes by, she misunderstands and thinks he is cleaning his things in preparation for dying. When she makes this clear to her brother, he comments, "You're acting weird." He shows her an old photo album with photos of the two of them as kids. He mentions their roles used to be reversed, that Hazumi was the crybaby and he protected her. He adds that now she's become an ordinary girl, it may be for the best. Then, looking at more of the pictures, she spots one of the Chichibu Resort. "I betcha it's safe!" she tells him. She tries to convince him they should go there, that the Remnants wouldn't be able to find them. "Yeah! We'll elope!" she shouts happily. She begins dragging him to his feet when the ground shakes.

The shaking stops after a while. "It stopped?" Kazuma is surprised. "That's just the prologue," Chiryuu tells him. "For the carnival that comes every 30,000 years."

Kasumi runs upstairs and informs the two siblings that Remnants have appeared. She also passes on a message from Chiryuu, that they should go to the Superintendant's room at the high school. She shows them to the kitchen, where the table tips to reveal a secret passage. "When did you...?" Hazumi asks, but there's no time. Her mother hurries them on to safety, remaining behind to face things calmly. It is only after her children are gone that she breaks down and cries.

As the Remnants begin their assault, it turns out almost everyone in town has some sort of power. Even the old lady at the grocery store has her Emergency Monster Projectiles.

Somewhere between the kitchen and her bike, Hazumi has managed to change into a wedding dress. Now she rides her motorcycle with Takumi. Her brother alerts her, saying, "This isn't the way to school!" She knows, of course, but she is still intent on going to Chichibu and eloping. They ride through the Food Court, where all the merchants wait to defend them. Their motto is: Food Court Specialty! No empty stomach shall pass!" In the same vein of humor as the episode titles, all the merchants are addressed simply by their profession, leading to Mr. Realtor, Mr. Ramen, and even Mr. Porno Books. Each one has an attack related to his profession, and they do a credible job of fending off the Remnants.

Hazumi and Takumi, clear of the Food Court, are almost waylaid by another Remnant. After they dispatch him, Kazumi arrives to reassure them that he'll be their super bodyguard. Hazumi doesn't stop to listen.

Ominous clouds cover the city, and an enormous blue globe of energy wreaks havoc throughout the streets. Over it all, Kijima's laughter can be heard.

As the Remnants head for the Superintendant's room at school, Tenkuu tells Hime that if he should fall, she will have to assist Takumi with the Sealing Ceremony for the Gate. Meanwhile, Takumi is still trying to convince Hazumi to turn and go to school, but she refuses. Unfortunately, they find their way blocked by a fire and fire engines. Turning around, they find themselves heading for a bizarre human cannon creature that launches flying heads.

Pursued by the cannonball heads, the two siblings speed through the streets. A deadend causes them to crash and fall, defenseless. At the last minute, Kazuma shows up and blocks all the attacks. He blocks them all, but is knocked down. Though in pain, he encourages Hazumi and tells her to take care of Takumi, and to go on. Suddenly, Takumi senses something, as does Tenkuu far away.

A shaking begins in the ground as the last ray of sunlight disappears. Entire streets split apart as Gateway Campus rises out of the earth. As the enormous, miles-high structure casts its shadow on the city, everyone panics. Hazumi notices Takumi's face take on a look of intense concentration. He runs for the bike and takes off. Hazumi barely leaps on and grabs him, but she is unable to stop him. Only the arrival of Kijima's blue sphere does that.

He laughs at them. "We'll do it right this time! Unlike 30,000 years ago!" She tells him to leave them alone, since all she cares about is that she loves Takumi. She doesn't are about the past. But Kijima doesn't care about her love. He tells her that it's a thin line between love and hate, that the people of this world are really saying they hate each other when they say they love each other. Some time in his speech about love and hate, he glances over and realizes the two humans are gone. Looking around, he spots them making a getaway. "I'll slaughter you both!" he screams, running for them.

A spear lands in front of him, stopping him short. It is Chiryuu's. "What a pessimist, Kijima," he complains, "I thought my ears would fall off listening to that long-winded speech." The two square off, at first making an even fight of it.

Takumi and Hazumi stand to one side. He thanks her for all her efforts to protect him. "You knew what would happen to the Key, didn't you?" she asks him. He tells her not to worry, as he is carrying the charm she made for him. When he turns, she tries to stop him again. He tells her that everyone did their part in helping him. "But," he adds, "it's not for everyone that I'm doing this. It's for you." He intends to protect her now as he did when they were kids. As he begins to glow, he slowly floats upwards towards the Gate. Takumi is calm, serene, resigned to his fate.

Hazumi looks up at him. Finally, it gets to be too much. She leaps for him, yelling his name, and her sword, Masamune, appears. Seeing this, Chiryuu is ecstatic. "It's the miracle of love!" In his distraction, he gets swatted aside by Kijima. Enraged, he yells, "I refuse to accept this!" and runs for Hazumi. She bats him into the next building easily with her sword and is ready to fight him when Chiryuu cautions her not to repeat her past. He tells her to go after Takumi, and to find a new answer.

"I'll take care of things here," Chiryuu confidently declares. "So go. Go to Takumi." She nods, then leaps to follow her brother. A noise alerts Chiryuu, and he turns to see Kijima rise from the rubble. He stands poised, ready to take on the leader of the Remnants. Then, seeing the look on Kijima's face, he rethinks his strategy. "Uh, Hazumi. On second thought, maybe we'd both better take care of him first!" He screams in terror at his approaching enemy.

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Last updated November 19, 1996